Give Yourself a Break

DSCF0753*The piers are going in the Lake.   I see grays and whites.  If I continue with cat knitting I’ll be making a gray and white cat…..for Tank’s model.  Currently I’m altering the motherbear pattern for the Fezzik cat model.  I’ll show you soon.

*There were a million treats in the classroom at the Stables today.  It was a thankyou for Volunteers week.  I had a brownie and frosting. I should not have had either.  I need to go back to my one bite rule.  I’d have to guess that brownie and frosting were a good 20 points.  I have ten left for today.

*If you’ve been watching the news lately, there is an Oklahoma family that knew their baby would die at birth.  They donated the baby’s eyes.  It is a long wonderful sad story.  I’m always proud of Al’s work with organ donation in Oklahoma at LifeShare.   Extra proud this week.

*I thought this was interesting.  The last time I gave blood, the Red Cross sent me a note saying that it was sent to Manassas Virginia after my own community was not in need.   I loved hearing where it went.

*Finally, Fireman and I watched Founder yesterday.  You may know we met while in our teens working at McDonalds.  I had no idea the story of the beginnings of that enterprise.  I recommend the movie.  I wanted a hamburger, fries and a big old Coke because of it, yesterday.

*In fact, we are having dinner tomorrow with friends we met while we worked at McDonalds in 1976, 77, 78.  We have kept up with a handful of our crew from back then.  It was incredibly fun to work at McDonalds.  My father hated that I loved it there and found fireman there. He would always say, “You will be flipping hamburgers the rest of your life.”  Ahem. He was wrong.

He also always told me I was JUST a NURSE. HE said I should have made something of myself and become a doctor.  You hear this stuff over and over from someone who you crave approval from … was beyond mean.

I thank God My mom was such an amazing wonderful loving mother; she made up for all of my fathers’ nasty parenting.  I forgive him.  It doesn’t pay to be angry.

However, I dont’ subject myself to his continued criticism anymore.  It took me a long long time to let him go.  I have heard Andrew Solomon speaking and he says that the cruelty he sees amidst families, is stupifying.  It really can be. I know I’m not alone.

Sometimes I have to say, You Deserve a Break Today…and I get up and get away…to Mcdonalds.



Author: compassionknit

I've moved from to on Nov. 7 2016. It is still me! glad you found me

13 thoughts on “Give Yourself a Break”

  1. This post was filled with good info! I had an idyllic childhood and was a bit of a champion to underdogs. I still speak out when I see parents do things like you describe. The lake pic is amazing!


  2. This was such a beautiful and candid post Kathy. It’s hard to let go of any negative voices in your head that were influential. I’m glad you have come to terms. Your achievements were/are great. I like to think your Dad always wanted you to do better because he saw you as the best even if he didn’t convey it in a nice way at all. I love nurses. They don’t have to be the only ones, but for me 9/10 nurses are super patient, kind, compassionate people. Doctors have been hit or miss. You were fabulous and you are now. I’m glad you let go of other things, but you hold on to that, Kathy friend.

    Hands down BEST Mickey D’s Story EVER.


  3. I loved hearing how you and firemen met. Our good friends here at the lake, Paul and Lori, also met when they worked at McDonald’s in their teen years. I can’t even imagine anyone saying “just a nurse”. What would this world be without nurses? That was always my career dream job and I never got to do it. As you know, Mandy is a nurse and we couldn’t be more proud of her. My father was also not a very nice man. I can relate to what you’re saying. Sad but true. I had to forgive him along time ago just to be able to live with myself. Have a wonderful day my friend. And thanks for sharing with us.
    Blessings, Betsy


  4. Sad to say, it was my MOTHER that was just like your father. In some ways it toughened me up in a good way. In others…well, maybe not so good ways.

    Luckily . . . I know she was so, so wrong. And, so was your Dad. What would we do without NURSES!


  5. Wow.. what an honest post. I’m sorry your dad was and is like that. I had a quiet but sweet dad who never made me feel less than.. I can imagine how hurtful that was. My mom took us away from my dad when I was 13 and divorced him. She worked swing shift so I had to take care of myself and my 10 year old sister. It’s amazing any of us make it to adults at all sane when so many of us endure cruel and neglectful childhoods. Can’t wait to see your Fezzie cat toy and love that you met Fireman as a girl in your first job. ((hugs)), Teresa 🙂


  6. Thank you for sharing Kathy! It seems your father was wrong about a lot of things. Nurses are more important than the doctors because they identify with the patients and offer insights that go right over the doctor’s head. I wouldn’t go to a doctor who didn’t treat his nurses with respect!

    My dad had his problems as well. As soon as I was married and out of the house he walked out on my dear, sweet mother. We took her to live with us and were never ever sorry! Bill adored her. When I think about the man I grew up with and the one you met at McDonalds–well, we are very lucky ladies my friend!!


  7. The Mister worked at McD’s also when he was a kid. I was a Fotomat girl. Had my own little kiosk in the parking lot of a strip mall. Didn’t meet The Mister there or Mister #1 for that matter but I did meet some other cuties. Those were the days.


  8. My daughter is a nurse. My husband is a doctor. When a colleague of my husband’s asked my daughter if her father was disappointed that she was ‘only a nurse’ she was able to look him straight in the eye and say ‘Clearly you don’t know my father. He is the first to say he could not do his job without the help of nurses’. Ruder than rude of the colleague, but I am so happy that my daughter knew what she wanted to do and was not swayed by cultural biases. I am also happy that she knew beyond doubt that her father is proud of her. Negative attitudes come at us from all directions. It is certainly harder when they come from within the family. Finding and holding on to faith in yourself and your capacity to be happy is a wonderful quality. I would be delighted if my daughter found joy in her work – regardless of what it was. Good for you for owning your truth.


  9. family do say the most stupidest things. We can hold on to the comments or let go. My blessed mother believed my marriage would be a short one (how hurtful). I am celebrating 30 years this year and I stick out my invisible tongue saying “nah nah”, so there!


  10. I think it’s both hilarious and sweet that you met Fireman at McDonalds. Working there certainly didn’t hurt either one of your careers!
    I’m so sorry that your father was so critical. In my world, it’s my mother who is critical and my father, even with dementia, who is more loving. I’m sure that you, like me, worked hard to be kind to your children! After my best friend decided to be a special ed teacher, her father kept asking, “Why do you want to devote your life to dumb people.” These are just things we have to let go of!


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